05 May, 2009

this has got me thinking.

As you know, we have been babysitting my three nephews for the past two weeks. I knew having kids was hard work, but seriously, I had no idea just how hard it really is.

After these past two weeks, for the first time in my life, I have actually considered not having kids. I cannot believe that that thought actually crossed my mind, in fact it still is. And please don’t take this the wrong way. These boys have been angels, and they are the sweetest little things, and I love them more than anything. It’s more about the time and energy {physically and mentally} it takes. It is incredibly hard.

I think a lot of it has to do with us [the husband and me}, in the sense that we are very set in our ways. It feels like we haven’t had a decent conversation in two weeks, we meet in the passageway, each with a kid under our arm, and then all we are doing is talking about the kids….what still needs to be done, who is going to do what. I miss the time we spend together. It feels like everything is always about the kids.
The thought that my life as it is now will never be the same, scares the bajeebers out of me. And I know how selfish that sounds.

How do you all do it? Can children just fit into your world? I mean is that even possible? Did your lives change that drastically?

And I know it’s not all bad. In fact, nothing about looking after these boys has been bad {except for those dirty nappies of course}, we have had a lot of fun. It’s more to do with the amount of energy it takes. It takes up every bit of your time. Gosh, this does sound very selfish. But these last two weeks have definitely got me thinking. I seriously underestimated how hard it is to be a parent.

Mind you, maybe it’s given me a small taster of what it is really like, so I won’t have any fairytale expectations when it eventually does happen.

11 comments:

Heather Nicole said...

The good thing is that your so honest with yourself to say - hey, maybe I dont want this! Thats not a bad thing. I actually feel the same way - I admit I'm too selfish to have kids right now. Would I rather buy diapers or shoes? Duh, shoes! lol...but also know that you arent going to be starting off with THREE kids! (unless you have trips!) So take that into consideration :)

allie said...

My 5 cents?
Having kids has nothing to do with rational decision making; otherwise noone would :-)
The desire to be parents just comes upon you like a tidal wave.
You'll see.
The upside is unspeakably wonderful (it would have to be!!) as you will no doubt find out later.

Suzi said...

its weird that i can actually weigh in on this!! but as hard as it has been these past few weeks, i wouldn't trade this sweet baby girl for anything! but i really believe its totally a personal decision... to each her own!

Ninnles said...

I feel exactly the same way after a weekend with my nieces!As much as I love them, man I'm exhausted. From what EVERYONE I know who has already done the baby making thing tells me, it is different when the kids are your own and the rewards outweigh the tiredness and things you give up. I think the older we get though the harder it gets to change our ways... I'd go along with your friend Allie though you can't make a rational decision about having bambinos!You and Francois will make beautiful babies though!!

Simply-Mel said...

Ah, how well you just described my life....

Yeah, it aint very glamourous, this parenthood thing. And in the short term the rewards DO NOT always OUTWEIGH the k@k...

But its unlike anything I have ever known. Up and down and all over the place. Kinda like the most extreme sport you will ever play....

Let me just JUDGEMENTALLY ADD...that I think you and Francois would be doing the world a huge disservice if you withheld offspring from this 'ere planet. You guys would be great parents. Just make sure you have disposable income to have a nanny and then you can maintain a semblance of normality on the odd occasion!

Janet said...

Being parents is tiring, and it does take it out of one however IT'S THE BEST THING that ever happened to me (only once unfortuntely)! I wouldn't trade the tough times for anything because the good times are just sooooo good!
However, as one of your friends said, to each their own - you have to make the decision together and when YOU know the time is right!

Kirsty said...

You know what?? We can all bleat on about how fantastic YOUR OWN child will be, how nothing feels like a sacrifice ...blah blah blah... but really: It's like describing the best sex you ever had to some one ... they just aren't going to get "it" until they've had it themselves...
So - hurry up already! We're waiting for your syrupy sweet posts on how your baby is the most gorgeous thing ever blah blah...
(and we'll all coo and aaah and roll our eyes and think ... maybe, but he/she aint half as cute as mine...)

cat said...

Hallo fellow SA blogger! Thanks for following me and finding me. Yeah, kids are fun, things may be tough at times, but it is so worth it. Will pop in again.

Sally J_wife of Space J said...

As you know I have a LOT to say on this topic :-) But I agree with Kirsty - it's not something that you can rationalise or explain.

All I can say (i am probably going to offend a load of people by saying this) - is that for me, life would be very supercial without children in my life. (personal view I know!)

brigitte said...

kids rule your world, it is good you got the taste of things. BUT they are your life and once they are there you can't live without them, through the poopy nappies & all.

Wenchy said...

Having kids are not for sussies... I didn't know this when I signed up.