27 November, 2008

living in a fairytale?

It's no secret that I live in a country that has many problems, the biggest in my opinion is the crime, it's high, very high. But you kinda just live with it, it becomes a part of your life...I mean, it's not like you are robbed every second of every day, it's more like you make sure your doors are always locked, you don't leave your bag on your car seat, we have high walls and burglar alarms, that kinda stuff.
I love my country, and HATE speaking badly about it, but when something hits close to home, I wonder if I am not living in a fairytale.

My sister phoned me very early this morning (never a good thing), to tell me that the husband of one of her very good friends was killed the night before, in his home, watching TV, while his wife and two little kids slept. What did they take...his cell phone. The sad thing, this is not shocking to us, we have heard these stories before. This time it's just my heartbroken sister telling me the story me on the other side of the phone as opposed to reading it in the paper.

Thousands of South Africans have left, and I know of many that have come home, saying that the grass is not greener on the other side. I know these things also happen in other countries, but not this often. Just when does it become just too much.

I am very positive about the future of my country, I always look for the positives and the good things, I don't want to leave, I want my children to grow up in Africa, this is my home, Africa is in my blood, I am an African...but am I living in fairytale, is it time for a reality check?

To my sisters friend, I cannot even express how sorry I am. No words can ever be enough. Please know that all of you are in our prayers and thoughts.

22 comments:

jacki janse van rensburg said...

*sigh!* i know what you mean. i ask myself the same question every few months, when something close to home happens.

i believe that GOD has a plan for my life. and that crime, death and suffering may be part of that plan. (in fact, the death of a loved one was part of His plan for me).

so, i trust that nothing will happen to me that is not part of His plan. and i trust that if misfortune is part of that plan, that He will equip me with what i need to survive.

easier said than done...

Francois said...

Very well said Sweetie, I can only say ditto....

Stefanie said...

All I can say is "ja, nee" we know what it is like living in SA, many many good things, the Mountain, the weather, the beaches, the fantastic quality of life...the crime that one is terrible, with the low value put on people's lives as well as the lack of consequences to themuderers.
BTW I love your blog header, it is really stunningly beautiful.

Hayley said...

Hey Jacki,

I was actually going to write in my post, that I believe that He has a plan for us, and no matter where in the world you are, His plan will still happen.

Thanks for a great comment!

Hayley said...

Hi Stefanie!
Was actually on your blog earlier today!
I know, we have SO many awesome positive things that are overshadowed by the crime.

Thanks for the compliment, wish I could say that I did it...mmmmm...maybe I should:-)
It was done by Kelly, Fabulous K, I have a link on my blog, she does the mose amazing designs.

Simply-Mel said...

This is a shocking story. Our biggest problem is our peoples complete and utter disrespect for human life. Disposable people.

Am sickened and saddened. I would move in a heartbeat if my extended peeps would just come too!

South Africa is wonderful but its the relationships in my life that keep me here not my patriotism....

Hayley said...

Hey Mel,

Think I agree,if my family came with me, I would move to.

Keith said...

Hayley, this post is true to what many of us are thinking. I cannot disagree with one thing you said.

Hayley said...

Its sad hey Keith?
This happened in Rynfield, so close to family and friends.

Miller said...

It is a very sad story, and he leaves behind a wife, and a 7 and a 4 year old.

When does enough become enough?
Are we not asked in the Bible not to question and to have faith. Faith is what gets you through at these times. It's sometimes really hard not to question and easier to lose that Faith, especially when it is so close to home.

The value of life is nothing to some, maybe because they have no values!

Joanne said...

I think its a fairytale! I think that living overseas is a little calmer and more relaxed. See my latest post I will be more equipped soon to comment. My condolences to the family concerned.

Kitty Cat said...

All I can say is, my family emigrated to Greece, and although it was tough with the language for us to adjust, at least we never ever felt afraid for our lives. It was definitely safer over there. South Africa is abnormal with the crime. I also hate it.

David Richardson said...

Being an American, I'm mostly clueless on South African life; however, I do know that God is great at providing wisdom and direction for us all.

My wish for you is that He will clearly show you and Francois what to do.

Thanks for posting this. It shows me how I can pray for you.

Hayley said...

Thanks David, that means a lot!

Kirsty said...

That is so sad Hayley! It makes my blood run cold! The crime levels in SA are unacceptable - but the world is not a safe place anymore either. I'm not sure what I would do if it happened close to home for me, having just moved to SA.
All I can say is : "It's not that the grass is greener, it's just that the sewerage fertilises different sections of the field!" Everywhere has different problems - paradise does not exist. At the end of the day, it's a life style choice that you make - you decide what you're prepared to put up with, and what you're prepared to give up. xx

Ness said...

Here's my opinion, nice or not. I believe that people who emigrate and come back (I'm talking specifically about Aus & NZ here not anywhere else) have not made a big enough effort to integrate into society over there. Play by there rules, go over with the right attitude. So often I see SAfricans trying to live like SAfricans in a foreign country. You can't do that, you have to go with the idea of assimilating into that society. So best pick one that suits you best and where you want to raise your kids. We've found two places like that, and the race is on to see where we'll end up. Maybe it's easier for us because I'm a first generation immigrant, and my husband is an immigrant himself that we don't feel that 'at home' here. Living in a violent society will NEVER feel like home to me. Also, it doesn't help to keep repeating to ourselves that we're African because we were born and raised here, because sadly the 95 percent of Africans in this country who's opinion actually counts, don't see us as African, no matter which way you try to swing it.

So while I *totally* understand where you're coming from, I just know that the veil was SERIOUSLY lifted off my eyes when we went to Aus last year (my 3rd visit) and saw SUCH a profound difference in ourselves and our moods just by being in a much safer environment. I'd like to stress about things like my bond and my taxes, rather than my life all the time.

Geez this is like a blog post in a comment! Hope you don't mind my blathering!

Heather Nicole said...

Haley, I am sorry to hear about your sisters friend.

I can say that the grass isnt greener over here in the states. This past year an astounding amount of police officers were killed in the line of duty here in Philly. It is the sadest thing to hear on the radio that yet another police officer was killed overnight. These are the people you are supposed to respect and honor, they are there to protect us and they are getting slain left and right. Its just so sad.

Ordinarylife said...

Well said Hayley.

I also don't want to go, I love most things about living here. I suppose the question my husband and I ask is, "when is enough enough?"

I have travelled enough to know that the grass is not always greener. It is a matter of decided what set of problems can you live with and what can you not.

Being Brazen said...

awww man - that is so horrible. I hear too many stories like this. It makes me sad and angry

Kevin Davis said...

Like the economy and the like, it all points back to where we trust and in who we hope - nothing else is for sure. I feel for you guys, living in fear of crime, even just small things, is no way to live and such a drain. But it is always good to hope and better to put hope in action (whatever that means).

Emily said...

very well said... I will keep your country and your family in my prayers... pray for you and the hubs to always stay safe!!!

jenn3 said...

Very sad. I honestly don't know that much about South Africa, so I can't compare it to America. I do know that I hear about more and more needless crimes and it's really upsetting. That being said though, I have a feeling it might be worse there? I'll pray that God will lead you where you need to go (or stay).